Saturday, May 14, 2011

How do you move forward?

I'm sorry for a second post in the day---- I need to think out-loud

I am so sad for Henry--- I find myself breaking down several times an hour

I am so ashamed to be even thinking about adopting another child with Matt--- Jacob/ Henry is so in my heart and I feel like I am betraying him by even trying to think this through. But another part of me says that those thoughts are terribly selfish for me and my lost angel would want another of HIS kids given a chance at life.

It is too early in the grieving process to be doing this---- I know it is--- I also know that I can't let Little Matt/Screech wait for a decision. Our papers are about ready to go--- We need to decide this week. I will NOT risk losing another of my kids.

please pray that we make the right choice as we are blinded by this fog that is the horrible grief of the loss of little Jacob/Henry.

Pray for us!


  1. I just learned of your story yesterday...I will pray for discernment and direction for your family.

    Christie (adopting Alexander 50)

  2. I hope and pray you make a good choice.
    I shared your blog on a FB page I made for some RR children. You do have prayer warriors.

  3. Our first baby that we tried to adopt (also our first child) died before we could bring him home from Guatemala. We were heartbroken and didn't know what to do next. We had spent all of this money and time on our dossier and we knew we still wanted to be parents - but how could we even think about another child when our first one had just died? Through counsel from some close friends we agreed to go forward with another child only a few days later. We were encouraged to remember that by the time we were able to travel our hearts would have had time to heal. Our friends were right and we were glad that we made that decision. Nothing will ever take away the loss of your little boy but it is ok to still continue with your dreams to adopt and your desire to rescue another child. One thing that helped me was to think of our second son as being a brother to the one we lost rather than a "replacement". You will be in my prayers.